Black Lives Matter, Black Grandma's Lives Matter- Silence is no longer acceptable
Let's have a conversation about Sytemic Racisim, White Privledge within the Biracial family.
Can you imagine the most important day of a mothers life is when her son announces he found a woman he's dating and they are getting engaged. The mother is filled with delight of the thought of gaining a daughter in law. She meets the young lady, she nice and beautiful. It appears this mother is gaining a nice addition to the her family that consist of a younger bother, a couple nieces that is being raised by his mom. They are close and enjoy spending time together. Until suddenly everything about her son changes. She loved her son, she had a good relationship with him. They laughed together, listened to music. She reminded him of the funniest thing both brother did when they were young. She loved how he would come by just to eat his mom's cooking. he visited often always brought flowers and a card. Her son recognized her birthday and holiday's and was alway's came home for them. He hovered over her in height, so he would kiss her on the forehead and say to her I Love You. As any other time her son decided to speak to his mom about his new girlfriends father and he shared the father of his fiancée offer him an apprenticeship with his electrical company. Where he could learn the electrical trade. Her son felt it was a good thing. His mom thought is was a well. Her son left the job he found on his own and could have had a nice career on his terms. However, his mom understand the concept as if her son was going to be with his daughter he was assisting in providing a good start to their future. Unfortunately she began to be excluded from her son's life. She began to notice all of his black friends seemed to have disappeared from his life and these were people he grew up with. His dialect had even changed to that of a white person. Her son was no longer allowed to have lunch with his Black aunt and her best friend who worked at the same building. His mother became concerned because it was something he had been doing since he worked there and he loved his auntie. Mom shared the wedding plans were in effect and there was an engagement dinner, imagine the hurt in her heart when she was not invited. The mother informed of the wedding by a phone call. They did not come and sit down with her to announce the wedding like they did for her parents. Her son called and his words were. Hey Mom, we're getting married in the Bahama's and if you want to come you have to pay your own way. That was it. Can you imagine another blow to the heart of a mother. This was the beginning of the end of her son as she knew him. She attended the wedding in the Bahama's but it was not a happy occasion for her, there was something that was just not right and she could feel it in her spirit. It was heavy and dark. It lagged over everything as though it was thick mist of uneasiness. Something was terribly missing and she felt like an outcast and did not belong. To her It felt like a ceremony, a ritual, and agreement. She was glad to get back home. As she remembers the invite and the excitement of her first beautiful granddaughter Christening at the family Catholic church. Grandma contacted her cousin to be present at this joyous occasion they arrived at the house to meet up with her son and his wife's family to follow them to the church. Mom and her cousin were invited into the kitchen. They were not invited into the living room area were the other family member's were gathered. We arrived at the church Mom was advised by her son, his cousin and I could not sit with the family, we were told to sit in some chairs on the other side of the room away from the family. Although her son and the wife's family all sat together. They would not add two additional chairs for two mor family member's. Prior to the birth of her grandchildren, she begin to requested alternate holiday's between the in laws. She could never get a response to her request, if she asked more than desired her request was not responded to and it appeared it was something he couldn't address with his wife and get a positive response. So her son did nothing. She was not present for her granddaughters birth, she wanted to be there for the second. She spoke to her son and requested to be there at the birth of the second. After a long wait she was reluctantly invited to the hospital but was told she could not be in the delivery room for the birth with her son as his second child was being delivered, Mom wanted to experience this occasion along with her daughter in laws mother and sister. At the end of her labor she was finally invited in to see her beautiful grandson being born.
Things did not change for the better, she was being excludes at every turn for simple request being made by a Black Grandmother. I find it shameful she has not experience the things other Black Grandmothers get to enjoy with their grandchildren. This Grandmother never spent a whole weekend at her home with her grandchildren. This Grandmother was never granted the many request to bring my grandchildren to visit, or take them to the movies, go shopping at the local mall. She was never granted the request to take them out to eat. Her only duty was to give money and gifts at the designated holidays. This grandmother didn't get the occasional phone call with a little voice on the end that said "Hi Grandma, I Love you". This Grandmother doesn't have any school pictures of her grandchildren. This grandmother does not receive Mothers Day cards or school pictures from parents. This grandmother has not been invited to many birthday's and her request to give them a party at her home fell on death ears and was not granted. This Grandmother does not receive birthday cards from the parents or the grandkids. There are no pictures of her in their home. Being left out of every aspect of her Son's and his families life just because of the color her skin is so heartbreaking and confusing to all that hear her story.
from her heart she shares her regret of raising two son's alone and not having a Strong Black Male role
models in their lives to talk to them, give direction of how to be a man, and foremost no matter what happens you will always have your mother. Single mothers do their best to protected their children whether they are son's or daughter's. This Mother protected her son's from drugs, bad people. She taught them both to be kind, have good work ethics and to treat people how they wanted to be treated. The sadness in her voice reflects she did not protect this son from the trap of someone coming into his life and twisting his mind against his family in order to live in their world. Guiding her son to a place where he does not see the damage of racism that is being done to him, his children and the lack of history that is being stolen from him and his children and where they comes from. he's powerless to make the simple and right decision's based on love and family.
This Mom, and Grandmother is saddened that as a black man raised by a strong black woman you married into racism and you are no longer your own person, you are now owned.
Black Grandmother's Lives Matter
We will no longer be silent
Part Two coming soon.